Doin' It Like Bunnies

The iconic "Rabbit" is renowned for two things: excellent orgasm results and an odd smiley face on its tip. Women's Health tells us the smiley face was actually a result of conservative Japanese customs. Apparently, Japanese consumers frown upon "the production of sex toys that too closely resemble phalluses," so the smiley face was added.

Hold Out Your Hand, Sir

Penis length cannot be determined by how big his hands or feet are -- those and other supposed indicators have been widely discredited for years. But now a team of Korean researchers has produced what may be a more reliable guide: the ratio of the length of his index finger to that of his ring finger. The lower that ratio, the longer the penis may be, the researchers wrote in the Asian Journal of Andrology. For non-mathematicians that means the closer the ring finger and index finger are equal in size the bigger the penis. Maybe this is why men love to hide those two fingers and extend the middle one for your inspection.

Are we gonna do this or not?

Are ya gonna kiss me or what?

We are drawn to people with strains of MHC chromosomes different from our own which we sense by smelling them or exchanging saliva.

The English language has too many words

The male version of nymphomania is “satyriasis”.

Simply stated, the male version of nymphomania is "normal".

Bird and Bee Facts

A stork will bring a baby. A swallow never will.

Flavor of the Month

It's called "vanilla" sex because the word vanilla comes from the Latin word for
vagina.

Blizzard, Ice Storm... What to do? What to do?

You can't go out to run, you can't get to the gym to exercise, but you can f**k like bunnies! 30 minutes  of sex burns 200 calories.  Stay home, go to bed and get some exercise!

Size and other matters

The average penis is 5" in length erect, 3" flaccid. That means half of erect penises are over 5" (usually in the 6" - 7" range) and half are less than 5".

According to Masters and Johnson's landmark study, the largest flaccid penis they measured was 5.5" and belonged to a slender man who was 5'7" tall. The smallest flaccid penis they measured was 2.25" and belonged to a heavy man who was 5'11" tall. A small penis will usually double in length when sexually stimulated while a large one may achieve about 75% growth.

The average vagina of an unaroused woman who has not had a child is about 3" long. When sexually excited it may extend another inch or so. Women are generally more interested in girth than length as it is the stretch around the opening that feels good, not how deep she is poked.

The average mouth is 3" from lips to throat, in case you wanted to know.

It is worth pointing out that they found no correlation between penile size and race.

Talk to me, Baby!

Men want to know their partner isn't fantasizing about some other man during sex, so they like the partner to verbalize (talk about it). Porn dialog apparently will turn their motor just fine. In a survey men picked these phrases as their favorites to hear during sex:

“Oh, yeah, right there!”
“That feels amazing”
“Don’t stop, harder”
“I want you so bad”
“Give it to me!”
“You animal!”

(pause) Sorry. I'm laughing too hard to continue typing.

Lots and lots of sex!

The average woman has sexual intercourse 3,000 times in her lifetime.

OMG! I'm so not holding up my end of that average. Somebody is having lots and lots of sex to make up for the lack here.

Where are they holding these contests?

Most ejaculatory orgasms by a man in one hour? 16.

And then he fell deeply asleep, leaving the woman 118 short.



Who was keeping score?

The most female orgasms in one hour? 134.

Wait. There was a contest?

Survey says...

Whether you want to know it about Grandma or not, 30% of women over 80 still have sex.

That means 70% just don't have the opportunity. And that's a shame.

If you are lucky, someday you will be over 80. See how you feel about it then. Imagine no one ever again holding your hand, giving you a kiss, or snuggling between the sheets. Everybody needs a little lovin'.

Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

According The Solitary Vice, a book for doctors that came out in the 1890s, women who masturbate tend to eat a lot of foods containing mustard and vinegar.


I'll bet they do! Also sugar and spice and everything nice.

Here it comes! Here it comes!... and it's gone.

The average female orgasm lasts three to seven seconds.

But with the right encouragement and stimulation women can have multiple orgasms which extends the pleasure quite nicely, thank you very much.

This sign is for you, Didi!

Toss an insult like you mean it

The term scumbag originally meant "used condom."
So, the next time you decide to call someone a scumbag be aware that you are actually saying, "You are evidence of the practice of safe sex." Probably not the barb you intended to throw, right?

What do men really want?

The #1 sex act desired by heterosexual men is fellatio.

Well, well. So, men don't really want to get in our pants? That's their second
choice? I knew men generally like a blow job but had no idea it is ranked so
high in their fantasies. Or, is the key word in that statement "desired" because
some women won't go down on their man?

Tenticles and Testicles

The octopus' testicles are located in his head.

As opposed to human males whose brains are often to be found in their balls.

Instead of a funny sign, today I offer you this link, which is used to teach kids (and often adults!) not to believe everything they see on the Internet:
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/

Size doesn't matter?

The size of a flaccid penis has no relationship to the size of the penis at full excitement. A man with a small penis at rest may have a larger hardon than a man with a big limp penis.

I wonder if heterosexual men know this. They see each other's dicks all the time in restrooms and dressing rooms but presumably they're not usually sporting wood unless they're gay and among other gay men. So, maybe the guys in a previous survey who wished they had bigger penises don't realize that they may be making the wrong comparisons.

Ready... set... count!

The average number of thrusts a man performs during sex is between 60 and 120.

I'm not sure how reliable that number is. Wouldn't both partners and any observer become... distracted and lose count?